Infinite Wisdom....

Well, in my infinite wisdom I thought maybe I could use this time I have 'off' to take a university course (I need 3 full university courses to work towards my Honours Specialist in English, like I haven't done enough university??).  So at the beginning of September I started scrambling to find myself one.  U of T wanted me to apply to the school, as if I was some 18 year old newbie, but Ryerson will take anyone...so here I come Ryerson. 

Then I panicked... I would have to miss a bedtime every week, starting the very next week.  Have I mentioned that we do not give Sebastien a bottle - my boy drinks straight from the breast!  Anyhow, I realized on sooo many levels that I was so not ready to go out into the world (unless of course it involves walking to Starbucks & with another mom and baby of course, going to 'music' classes for infants, going to baby and mommy yoga, or the grocery store).  So where does that land me?  Taking an online course in Popular Literature.  Fantastic, right?  Oh no, Edgar Allan Poe is the first author we read from.  I reread those damn stories 3 million times, had a cyring meltdown, and asked Kaashif to 'translate' it for me!  It is tough to be an english student again...but I have found my groove and am right back into the art of analysing literature to death (and enjoying it).  Not to mention, we are now done with Poe...onto Persepolis, The Shining, Watchmen, and yes, Star Wars!

My point of this whole story though was to tell you about the first day taking the course.  I was attached to the computer like it was my right hand.  I put Sebastien in the exersaucer ... then went to the computer...I put him in the jolly jumper...then sat beside him and read...I put him on the floor with a toy ....then went to the computer.  It was ridiculous, I felt like a bad mom.   There is a huge amount of work and I have only now started to find balance between my course and Sebastien.  I wonder if he would like me to read The Shining to him as a bedtime story?

More than just a mother...

The rain must affect babies the same way it does adults, because this morning Sebastien lounged, snoozed, and played with Daddy in bed until noon.  By 1pm he was asleep on the boob and he is still sleeping soundly (I will certainly need to make a concerted effort to keep him up this afternoon!).  I decided to take the time to check TDSB's website to keep myself abreast of what is going on in my work world.  I have been thinking a lot about work lately - about co-workers, lesson plans, training, and the future of my career path.  Don't get me wrong I am pleased as punch to be off for the year and I enjoy almost every moment with Sebastien - being a mom is the greatest honour I have experienced in my life.  However, I am more than just a mother....

I think what sparked my thinking about this was feeling isolated from my workplace - a separate social sphere from home.  I realized that once I left, even though I tried hard to maintain connection with my workplace, I feel like I ceased to exist in the education world.  I know that my co-workers are trying to honour my time away, but frankly I want to be included/consulted more often.  Work is also a place for creative outlet, I have come to realize.  Lesson planning and exploring new ways to teach concepts is creative work - changing diapers, breastfeeding, and signing nursery rhymes isn't particularly creative.  This might be why I have spent so much time cooking, baking, and crafting since I have been off - it fills the creative void to a degree.  I realize it sounds like I am saying I miss work - not really.  However, I do miss belonging to that community - it is like that community has cut me off for a year - out of sight, out of mind.  I will continue to find ways to stay connected to it and in the meantime...I will continue having fun with my bundle of joy!